Everyone loves their, thus i hitched her” (MNA16-21, men, sixteen yrs . old, North Lombok)

New wider community in addition to believes that a person is recognized as qualified to get married shortly after getting adolescence. Of numerous parents believe that if the their child try pubescent, they may be able then get married, “I’m allowing my young man so you can wed in the event they are nevertheless during the university. More over, I do believe you to definitely I’ve only approved it, it’s their future, their existence. My child must get married since the he loves the brand new girl. If for example the child is pubescent, they can wed. I happened to be hitched in the period of 14, also. Which is ok!” (FWP30-5, feminine, 30 years old, Lombok Barat).

A dad out-of Lombok Utara, MNP35-8, told you he had been 1st crazy as he revealed one their young man had secretly married an earlier girl

There is certainly an alternative novel heritage during the NTB, specifically eloping, or in your regional code “Merarik,” or “Merarik Kodek,” the lifestyle off a groom taking the bride so you’re able to a hiding place to have the blessing to wed. Males intentionally drop its girlfriends’ family later in the day locate brand new true blessing of their moms and dads and you can friends to find hitched. Individuals often believe that in the event the a guy takes an excellent girl out in the evening otherwise production home late, the guy is to upcoming wed their. “The key reason for youngster relationship is actually vintage norms. Whenever a man will bring my daughter domestic at nighttime, this means he’s ready to wed.” (FWP42-4, female, 42 yrs . old, Lombok Barat).

MNA16-21 married their girlfriend FNA14-fifteen a year ago. One night, FNA14-fifteen existed quickly on an effective girlfriend’s house, together with her grandma’s consent, not her mother. Their mom was interested in their and you can she called several moments, the mobile phone wasn’t answered. Their mother sent their unique an email: “Go home today or I can bring your mobile and also you are unable to see college anymore.” Too scared going home, FNA14-fifteen expected her boyfriend MNA16-21 to track down hitched. Centered on culture, should your girl comes back at night, the latest girl should be partnered. “One nights, my girlfriend are scared commit home, she begged me to marry their unique.

He regretted one his son https://brightwomen.net/no/cupid-com-anmeldelse/ was just 17 years old and which he had not accomplished university. He wanted to posting his son’s partner to their particular loved ones, however the female’s family did not should just take their own back. Both are nevertheless married.

Suddenly, We learned that my personal young buck ended up being married secretly. I became so upset while i read you to. My young buck have not complete school yet, however, he dared in order to wed within the secrecy, plus it broke my personal center to listen to you to. I needed to deliver the fresh new girl right back, nevertheless the girl’s members of the family did not need certainly to take their child straight back because the, predicated on tradition, she needed to be married.

step 3.step three. Mom and dad lack information

Certain teens contained in this data also mentioned that its mothers did not see otherwise look after them. FNA17-19, stated her mothers don’t love their own, up to she is actually as well involved with their own boyfriend and ultimately got expecting. “There clearly was never ever any information away from my parents as they never paid back people focus on this, even though they was basically at home. I was pregnant. Therefore we had partnered” (FNA17-19, feminine, 17 years of age, Lombok Utara).

FWPstep three5-step three, a mother or father of Western Lombok, and additionally created you to definitely she anticipate their sixteen-year-dated child so you’re able to marry to own fear of carrying a child basic, “When my daughter wished to get married, We allow her to wed, as opposed to features crappy things happen.” (FWP35-step three, female, thirty-five years old, Lombok Barat).

Brand new youngsters together with regretted you to definitely the parents don’t help them so you’re able to adapt and also have courtesy a difficult duration of on the web reading. It added you to definitely their mothers don’t know how to and don’t help children inside unmatched some time and extremely quick change in discovering methods. When these types of girls turned close employing boyfriends, their parents failed to restrict these to marry.