I asked him why he thought he was protected from disease when there was unprotected oral sex?

In what ways do you feel that your spouse (or you) “affaired down?” My husband absolutely “affaired down”! I mean, not that the OW was dog ugly, but she wasn’t anything special, didn’t have a great body or anything. Is actually kind of plain and is older than him (an me!). But obviously the OW isn’t as smart, loyal, moral, as good of a mother, as good as a wife, and as good as a person as I am or SHE wouldn’t have been cheating on HER husband with mine! As little as it seemed to bother him that SHE was married during the cheating, it bothers him now. He used the OW being married as a way to justify his own behavior because if he judged the OW truthfully then he’d have to judge himself, and he wasn’t about to do that! At least not then anyway.

What do you feel were the reasons for this? As mentioned above, a cheater isn’t quality, and the person with a cheater KNOWS this, but doesn’t want to face it. If a person cheats WITH you, then they most certainly can cheat ON you! And most likely will!!

I guess if she had been 18 and hot and single

What effect does this “affaring down” have on your view of your spouse’s (or your) affair and his/her (your) mindset at the time? It is really insulting that he would risk our lives, and my health, but cheating with someone who would cheat!! I know that may sound strange, but it makes me ill that he would be inticed by someone who clearly had no morals and no care for her own family. Someone who clearly didn’t care about HIS family either! And that she was older makes it less understandable. . referГЄncia wikipedia. Idunno… it would never be okay, but that she had kids too… he never thought about being THEIR daddy, but he never thought of being a daddy to his own kids during that time. I’ve never known my husband to really be STUPID – at least until the affair. My husband used to be so insulted when I would call him dumb for cheating. Luckily he is over that and accepts that it was the dumbest, most selfish, disgusting thing he has ever done or ever will do!

I guess I answered this above

Does the fact that your spouse did affair down make it easier or harder to take? .. kind of… I just didn’t see the allure of the whore… I mean, I even went as far to admit that she wasn’t UGLY, but she wasn’t hot or young or anything like that! She was just there at his work every day, stroking his ego and eatting up every word he said… letting him feel like a hero because he was such a good guy and she loved him “sooooo much”… it was literally disgusting! Never mind the fact that she was a coward and never left her such horrible marriage, even 2 years after the affair is OVER she is still with her husband. Man, her husband must be such a bad guy if she continues to stay…. what a wench.

stupid is the operative word. I have always considered my husband to be very intelligent, but after the affair……ugh. I actually laughed right in his face when I was angry at him for risking my health, and he was adamant that he used a condom every time. She always had the condoms. I asked him if it ever occurred to him that she might sabotage them to get a stronger hold on him? I asked him if he was aware that condoms don’t prevent ALL diseases (HPV for one, and it can even lead to cancer). He actually hadn’t even considered what that meant and had exposed him (and then me) to. Yep. Stupid doesn’t even begin to cover it.